frustrations and lack of motivation

I know, I've been slacking on the blog. To be honest, I've been lacking motivation. Last week, I upped my exercise a lot, which meant that sparkpeople also upped my daily calorie intake. It didn't turn out well... the scale didn't budge at all on Sunday's weigh in. I know I'd been working harder and to see the scale not move at all, when I was so close to hitting the 20 pound mark last week, was a little disheartening. I know this happens sometimes, but it's the first time it's happened this time around.

Then, I took advantage of the bit of sunshine on Sunday to try out that whole running thing again. My ankle had been feeling fine for weeks now and I was confident that everything was good. I didn't push myself, I listened to my ankle and felt no pain, and only jogged for 10 minutes. I figured that was a good first attempt. Everything was going well, and I was excited.

...until the next day. Monday afternoon, my ankle starting hurting a lot. I hadn't done any exercise since running the day before and almost exactly 24 hours later, the pain came. It just got worse and worse to the point where come Tuesday morning, I couldn't put any weight on it at all. I had planned on calling my doctor to set up an appointment to have it looked at, but it was out of the question at the moment. There was no way I'd be able to bike the two and a half miles to my doctor's office. Instead, I stayed in bed all morning but mid-afternoon, I really had to leave the house [I was out of cat food! I can't explain to the cats that they have to miss a meal because my ankle hurts]. So I hobbled the three blocks down to the store and it was so painful. I spent the rest of the afternoon resting it and by the time I went to bed, it was feeling much better.

This morning, it was sore but not super painful like it had been the last two days. Since I felt like I could now successfully bike to the doctor, I called them up and made an appointment. Usually they can squeeze me in the day I call but, well, I hadn't been to that office in a few years [due to being in Chicago and/or being without insurance/money] so I have to go in for an entire physical instead of just checking up on my ankle. Which I wasn't surprised to hear, I just... really just wanted my ankle quickly looked at! So I have a full appointment tomorrow afternoon. [And let's not even talk about the last time I went to this office, I was at goal weight and now I'm definitely not so that's frustrating as well.]

To add to all of this, the scale's been making its way up the last few mornings due to not exercising. Okay, and being so frustrated with all of this meant that I haven't been tracking my food as diligently as I usually do.

But, no more. The scale's going to go back down now. I'm going to track everything I eat and I'm going back to my injured ankle workout plan. I managed to exercise with a hurt ankle for two months before it started feeling better, so it doesn't hold to just use the excuse of "my ankle hurts, I can't work out". It's still frustrating, because I really want to start running, but there are lots of other things I can do instead.

So, doctor appointment tomorrow. Hopefully I'll receive some good news about my ankle healing. Hopefully she won't tell me that I'll never be able to run again. As for right now, though, I'm going to stop feeling sorry for myself and go out for a bike ride.